One thing I have learned about therapy is that most of the progress doesn't happen in the room with the therapist. This sounds weird, why are you going every week and paying (or your insurance paying) when the change doesn't actually happen there?
Well, the therapist is still a tool for change and sometimes an important tool as a nonbiased party to help you reflect on your actions and reactions. But really, the best change happens outside of that room (or time, if you are doing telehealth). So how do you get the most out of the time between sessions?
You can make notes about your week. Write down anything that you think is important to share with your therapist so you don't forget when you have your scheduled appointment. It's the worst when you realize after your appointment you forgot to bring something up that you wanted to reflect on. And while your therapist definitely wants to hear about some positive things, it is usually beneficial to make sure to note about any situations that have caused a negative reaction (think depressive thoughts, negative self talk, anxiety, etc).
If you were assigned 'homework,' do your homework. This might be journaling or trying a new skill or to explore a thought or feeling more on your own or to reflect on how certain patterns come up in your life and interactions. It might be to read an article. Not every therapist 'assigns' homework and even for those that do, they might not assign it every week. But if something was mentioned, follow up on it.
Reflect on last session and share any additional thoughts or insights with your therapist at your next appointment. Share how that session or topic impacted the time between sessions.
Why is it important to do this? Your therapist can't be with you all the time, and even if they could, they can't read your mind. Therapists are trained in skills to help draw out the important information and know a lot about human interaction and behavior. However, asking questions and letting your therapist take the lead is going to take longer to get to change and they might miss something because you haven't shared how important it is to you.
Following the tips above will help you figure out how to work better with your therapist and get the most out of your time in therapy.
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